Silence They Say

The Betrayer and the Betrayed

I lost all trust in that moment. I saw him with his new girl. It was all a lie! How could I have believed any of it after all that time had passed? I felt like an idiot and most of all I was the one who looked like a fool not him. He told me this wouldn't happen straight to my face and I believed him. I let it drag on and on over the months and deep down I knew it was over but how could I let those kinds of feelings go? I need to just let it go, but how can I when he betrayed my trust and turned me into the betrayed? Let me start my story from the beginning:

I don't know how but I fell for him. I was truly in love and I was only 15. We talked about everything and anything. We would spend our hours talking about anything. He met my family and most importantly my father. He went to most of my basketball games just to watch me play. I really thought things couldn't get any better and I suppose that's why they got worse. I spent three months of my life with that guy just to watch as he left me behind with all his lies he had told me.

My life had been going good. I had a good guy in my life or so I thought. He really did mean a lot to me he was everything. I mean just to make matters worse; he was my first boyfriend and my first kiss, the first guy for me to introduce to my dad. He meant a lot but after what he did to me, I could care less about him. How could all the feelings he said he felt for me just disappear? It just amazes me that he could lie straight to my face and walk away without feeling a single drop of guilt.

My jaw dropped and my heart fell apart at the words he was telling me. "I have to, I have no choice." This was the reason he gave me for leaving me. "My grades are low and I was told to break up with you, I can't have a girlfriend as long as my grades are low" he told me. "Ok I understand" I said as I walked away with tears on the verge of falling to the floor. I understood that he couldn't have me for a girlfriend until his grades improved. So I thought to my self I could wait for them to improve.

Then the lies continued because oh yes his grades went back up but no he didn't come back to me. Instead he told me that he wasn't allowed to have a girlfriend at all until the next school year. Again he crushed me, not because of his words but because of what they meant. To me they were all just a huge lie. As I said though, I was in love. I had my heart on him and my head couldn't control my feelings. So again I waited, I waited a whole school year on him and I know when I look back at it now that was the most stupid thing I could have done at that point.

It turned into my sophomore year of high school. A whole year had passed and he was stuck in my head. I still can't believe I had let a year of my life pass by like that. I was truly miserable. I had completely shut down guys in their tracks once they tried to get to know me. I had feelings for only one of them and he wasn't staying true to his word and I wasn't leaving. After a while I just felt like he was using me. Just going to other girls and once he got bored of them he would come back to me because he knew I would still be there by his side. I couldn't take it anymore but I didn't do anything about it.

Then I finally believed he was going to come back to me. I had heard some rumors that he was secretly missing me too. "I still like you" is what he came up and told me one day. I couldn't believe it, all my waiting around had finally paid off because my babe was finally going to be mine again. I was ecstatic that whole day and everyone noticed. I was back to my old self. When I look back now it feels like I was set on autopilot for a year and that makes me feel sad to think about.

I thought we were getting back together. One day I saw him at school and with him was his new girlfriend. I was so disgusted. I knew once everyone saw him with her they would think I looked like a big fool. After I stayed by his side for that long and even offered him another chance. Now I have to see that new connection between him and another girl every day. At first I couldn't stand the thought of coming to school and seeing them kiss. I told my friend, "I can handle holding hands and hugging, but once I see them kiss, that's just going to crush me!"

Then one day I saw them, kissing. I felt like running away to just lay down somewhere to cry! I was crushed I had never felt that much pain. I think it really did help me to move on though. That's what I did when I saw that. In that single moment I had the courage to move on I lost all fear about how a guy might rip a hole through my chest again. I went home and I didn't go lie down and cry I continued on with my life. I let things be. My favorite part is that I actually started talking to my guy friends again and now I'm getting closer to one of them. I really feel like I can be in a relationship with him and not have a constant fear burdening me about being left with a broken heart again.

My Twilight......Continued

                         

My new proposal for another episode in Twilight is simple, Edward doesn't come back. He stays at whatever place he lives now. Instead Bella has to learn to face facts and accept that Edward is not coming back. What happens is, after all the time she spends trying not to forget Edward, Jacob is trying his hardest to keep her happy. His hard work pays off because instead of Edward coming back, she falls in love with Jacob. Edward never comes back, but Victoria does. My story continues into Bella and Jacob's older years, when they have a child together.

They have a daughter together and this child attains the werewolf powers like her father, because her mother never got her wish of being transformed into a vampire. My story starts off in a part of their lives when their daughter, Riley, is just about to turn 15. She finally finds out, the hard way, that her dad is a werewolf. The reason she finds out is because she was taking care of Bella while she was sick. Just like in Bella's younger days, she begins to talk in her sleep and even yell. What her daughter hears is something she was never supposed to find out.

Her mom is asleep and while asleep she is sleep talking. Bella is screaming at the top of her lungs that she stills loves Edward and she doesn't care if he won't turn her into a vampire. She also screams that Jacob is not the one she has always truly loved deep in her heart because she has never loved a, werewolf. Riley was bringing up a cup of tea for her mother and once she hears the last part she stare goes blank and her hand slowly loosens on the grip of the handle, and then it crashes to the floor shattering into a million pieces!

Bella wakes up at the sound but does not understand what happened and why poor Riley has a dead stare. "What's wrong?!" Bella asks. Riley doesn't reply and she suddenly looks angry. Then at that moment she looks at her mom and looks very angry. She feels angry because somehow all these years she has known. Now she knows it for a fact, she is a werewolf. The first female werewolf in the history of Jacob's ancestors.

Now Riley can't help it she bursts out of her clothes as her teeth and nails grow much larger than normal, and hair is sprouted all over her body like her father Jacob and her ancestors before her. She has now turned into a werewolf in front of Bella's own eyes. Now that she is a werewolf, for the first time, she has no control over what she is doing. If you have seen the Twilight Saga New Moon you know that werewolves only show up for one reason. Only if the vampires are back in their territory.

Riley has turned into a werewolf because, Edward is back! Jacob was also in the house when Riley had gone through her first transformation so when he showed up he instantly knew why she had transformed. The only problem that he was in the older generation of werewolves so he couldn't transform too. Bella had no idea why this had happened to Riley, until she saw how tense Jacob had gotten.

Just then Edward peers through the window and Riley sees him. All of this, Riley transforming, Jacob running upstairs and Edward peering through the window happens in a matter of seconds. In the next second though Riley flies through the window and tackles the vampire to the ground. When she stops to look at this strange new creature her heart races and she has gently transformed back into the normal Riley. The vampire who stands before her is not Edward but a new young male vampire and in that moment, Riley has imprinted* on a vampire.

*A Twilight term: For a werewolf to fall in love instantly for the rest of its life.

My Bravery

"Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen (Curchill,Winston)."

My dad is a firefighter. I had to be brave when I was about 8 years old when the Bosque caught fire. He had to go and help even though he wasn't on duty and it was a risk that could have taken his life. My little sister had just been born too. I had to be brave, which I thought in my mind, because my mom was scared too. Well he had to go risk his life and that means that he has to have a lot of courage to face that kind of situation! This fact is what made me feel like I could be brave too.

I was just re-living this memory because yesterday, 04/05/10, the Bosque was set ablaze again! This time my dad was on duty and at the fire station on Griegos. He was really close to where the fire was and I still don't know if he was sent over there to help put it out. I just remember looking out to the city and watching as the smoke rose higher and higher. The only thought going through my mind is if my dad was ok. I got a horrible feeling in my stomach because I was worrying so much. Then school ended and I looked out on the city and the smoke was spread out further and bigger. My stomach dropped at that point.

I knew I had to brave when I got home because of my younger sisters. Their 6 and 4 years old and I didn't want them worrying about our dad at work. It should just be a job not a burden. My mom had to go to school so I was watching them both for the night. They wanted me to take them closer to see the fire but I didn't want to put any thoughts into their heads about something going wrong. I just told them that dad would be home in the morning just like he always is. I also said that nothing bad was going to happen to anyone, that the fire was going to be taken care of and everyone would be safe.

I had those thoughts of "What If" in my head all night long. I was stressing so much about the whole ordeal that I was exhausted and I fell asleep easily (surprisingly). I also successfully completed my task. My task was to keep my sisters clueless of any thoughts that would make them worry. I am glad that they got a good night's sleep too. My head was very worry free. Now the morning has come and gone, and my dad is at home where he is supposed to be. My little sisters have no idea what he went through, as far as fighting the fire. All my worries are gone because my dad is now safe at home. The fire is also being better controlled now too.

All of my family worries are gone and I don't have to be brave anymore for my sisters because there is no reason to be. I know this is not your typical act of bravery in terms of external, "dragon slaying", bravery. This was more of an internal act for me. I had to be mentally brave to face what most people would never have to. I know that my dad was brave because that is a courageous thing to do. To go and risk your life to save others, even strangers. I think this is why I am brave too, because I learned it all from him. I hope that the people he saved are thankful and understand the severity of the situation.

"Firemen never die, they just burn forever in the hearts of the people whose lives they saved (Murphree,Susan)."

                                         

The Time Machine

If I had a chance to create a time machine and go back to any time or place I would go back to the time of when my parents were younger. Specifically when they met in high school is where I want to go. I would do this because I haven't really gotten the whole story of what went "down" when they first met and fell in love. I hear bits and pieces of it, not the whole thing. I should have known about this stuff since I was little but I guess they don't really like to talk about those things. I don't know why this is.

There is a new movie that has just premiered that is called "Hot Tub Time Machine". In that movie a group of people go back in time but only about a decade or two back, so it's not that far back in time but it's still considered time travel. This is what I want to do, just go back enough time to meet my parents when they were meeting each other. I want to see what their young life was like. I have heard a couple of stories from my mom here and there about when my dad used to have girls falling for him. Then my parents found out that they were going to have a child. I want to go back to that time to see what it was like for something that serious to happen to them.

I know for sure that when they met it was in high school. West Mesa High School is where they attended to be exact. My mom was a freshman and my dad was a senior. This is why they like that I come to Atrisco because there are no seniors for me to fall in love with. Another big thing that I know for sure is that my mom found out she was pregnant with me when she was only nineteen years old. Yes, she was a teen mom. If I was there I would ask her how she feels about everything because that would be very hard to find out your having a child at such a young age. It is a choice that affects the rest of your life. I want to know what was going through her head at the exact moment she found out, that is what I would ask her if I got to go back in time and meet her.

I would also have a few things to ask my dad too. The first thing is that I don't understand how he could do this because he is a very responsible man right now. It's hard to believe that he did do it. I would also ask him about how he felt about the whole situation because he wasn't the person carrying the child; I mean he could have left my mom as a single mother if he had made that decision. He didn't though and this changed his whole life because a year after my birth they would get married. I want to ask him if his love grew stronger for my mom when he found out.

If I created a time machine, these are the things I would do. I want to know the whole story. This is a very serious subject because if it wouldn't have happened I wouldn't have been here now. I can't imagine that. All I want to do is go back in time and get the details of what everyone felt about the fact that I would soon be in this world. I would especially want to know what my mother and father felt about it.

My Oral Tradition

My oral tradition is just many stories passed down from many generations. This past spring break I went and sat down with my Grandpa, which is my dad's dad. He showed me tons of old pictures he had of a lot of people who are dead now. He even had a picture of my great great great Grandpa and Grandma. I had never seen them before in my life. Although my grandpa didn't know much about where my family has come from as far as ancestry, he told me numerous stories about his life and his dad's life. He also had ideas about where we have come from because of what his dad told him.

When my grandpa and I started talking he told me that his dad used to tell him that we aren't foreign to this land, we were already here as Native Americans. Now he also said that he isn't positive about this, that this is what he was told. Then he continued with telling me that we came from the country of Mexico, and moved to the land around the Tijeras Mountains and the Sandia Mountains. We were already on this land when people came here and started making it there own in the 1800's.

Then he continued on into his dad's life. His name was Florival Gutierrez. He lived in the mountains of Albuquerque which are also known as the Sandias. He lived there when, what is now presently called Old Town, was an Army Post for Albuquerque. Also when Tingley Beach was a Lake that overpowered the golf course next to it, and when th Rio Grande flowed majestically and freely. He told me a story of my great-grandfather of when he would have to take a trip that took a whole day into Albuquerque to sell wood in a wagon. That whole wagon full of wood was worth $5 and so that is what he sold it for.

The next part of my history that I learned about was my relatives that had come way before I was born and when my grandpa was little. He informed me that one my great-uncles is still alive and is living in Los Angeles, California. He is my great-grandpas brother, and is the last sibling that is still alive. Then he went on to tell me about his brothers and sisters, some of which are still alive and well and others which we have both never even met.

After everything was said and done, my grandpa told me, his parents had a total of 19 children. There were 8 brother's and 11 sister's in total. Right now in the current present there are 6 brother's and 8 sister's that are still alive. Most of the children were born in the mountains on their ranch. By thst time my great-grandpa had bought land from there and homesteaded it. It was the life my great-grandpa had wanted butsomething went wrong, maybe to many children? To much responsiblity for him? He left my great-grandma with 12 children still living at the house at that time. She had to take care of her family and was living off of a volunteer job as kindergarten assistant. She paid for food with the help of food stamps and welfare.

In the end my family has made it through thick and thin. This is only my dad's dad side of my history too. I have so much blood from everywhere running through my veins right now that it's amazing I'm not related to everyone in this room as well as them being related to me. I really do think that someday in the future my great-great-great grandchildren will be looking back at pictures of me and saying, "Wow, I wish I could have gotten to know her because there is so much to learn about my families past." When I sat down this past spring break with my grandpa that is exactly what he was telling me about his great-great grandpa.

Stop the Rape and Abuse of Women Worldwide

       Today in my English class I signed a petition to help stop the rape and abuse of women worldwide. This is one of the biggest human rights problem today. There is a statistic that states one out of every three women will be raped or abused during her lifetime. This petition was made to help create a strategy to address violence against women and girls worldwide. It was made especially to help women of foreign countries.

       When I was signing this petition I felt the pain of all the abused women throughout the world. I cannot imagine what they are going through. It is amazing that no one in the whole world has found a solution for this problem yet. I hope to help the cause and further my knowledge of my rights as a woman by signing this petition.

The Starfish Story

       The moral of this story is to try and make a difference with something even if it only gives the slightsest bit of help. The meaning of the story to my life is exactly what the moral is. I can make a difference even if it only helps just one thing. The "wisdom teaching" that the author is trying to convey to the reader (me) is the moral also.

       The moral of the story is indicated in the story at the last line. The last line reads 'As it met the water, he said, "I made a difference to that one!"' What this young man is trying to say is you need to help what you care about even if you only make the smallest difference because that difference can go a long way. Just by throwing that one starfish back into the water he saved its life and it wouldn't dry out and die. He made a difference to one life.

       When I was reading this story I thought of a quote I had heard before. That quote says, "Stand up for what is right even if you are standing alone." I thought of this quote because this young man didn't care if anyone helped him he just cared about saving just one life on the shore that day. He didn't even care if anyone saw either, even the wise man.

        What I think the wise man in the story thought is that the young man was fighting for a lost cause. Most people think like that and that is why no one fights for what is right anymore. They believe that they can't save things all by themselves so they don't try. The young man went out onto the shore that day not expecting to save every starfish for miles, he just went out there and wanted to make a difference to one starfish at a time.

         The wise man did not see the moral like the young man did. He walked over to the young man expecting to just find him dancining randomly at the shore. What he saw that was really going on he didn't exactly understand so he just told the young man that he couldn'y possibly save thousands of starfish on the shore that day. The young man just wanted to save many though, but what really mattered to him is that he saved at least one.

         In conclusion, I think this moral is not really understood by most people. I think this because most people want to see big results when they are trying to help. They want those visible results right away but sometimes they don't get it. Those people would be considered the wise man in the story. The people considered to be the young man would be the people who help out and don't expect much in return, just the satisfaction that they helped one life that day.

The Great Debaters:My Movie Review

This movie was very inspiring and had many morals of value to teach people of many ages. The most suspensful part of this movie was when Mr. Melvin B. Tolson and his debate team of three (at that time) came across a lynching mob of white people. The experience for the young 14 year old boy, James Farmer Jr., was one that won the debate for his team while up against Harvard's debate team. What he said to his audience was very emotional for me and inspired me. In the end I would give this movie 4 stars because while it was an amazingly inspirational story to speak out against what is wrong, it was hard for me to relate to. It was hard to relate to because I did not grow up in the time that the movie took place in.

Below I have provided the speech that Mr. Farmer Jr. gave at the Harvard debate.

James Farmer Jr.: In Texas they lynch Negroes. My teammates and I saw a man strung up by his neck and set on fire. We drove through a lynch mob, pressed our faces against the floorboard. I looked at my teammates. I saw the fear in their eyes and, worse, the shame. What was this Negro's crime that he should be hung without trial in a dark forest filled with fog. Was he a thief? Was he a killer? Or just a Negro? Was he a sharecropper? A preacher? Were his children waiting up for him? And who are we to just lie there and do nothing. No matter what he did, the mob was the criminal. But the law did nothing. Just left us wondering, "Why?" My opponent says nothing that erodes the rule of law can be moral. But there is no rule of law in the Jim Crow south. Not when Negroes are denied housing. Turned away from schools, hospitals. And not when we are lynched. St Augustine said, "An unjust law in no law at all.' Which means I have a right, even a duty to resist. With violence or civil disobedience. You should pray I choose the latter.

Diego Rivera:My Personal Essay

When I first saw this piece of Rivera's artwork I was consumed in the complex way his eyes see the world. This whole painting is deep on so many levels. It is a painting of a scene in Mexico City. It is called Epic of the Mexican People-Mexico Today and Tomorrow,1934-35, Palacio Nacional, Mexico City. To me this picture is epic, it is a story. The first thing that caught my eye was all the different colors used through out the painting. It seems to look like there are many strikes and fights, and maybe some love, going on in Mexico City in the years of 1934-35. In the painting, if you notice, there is a banner being carried by a mob of mexican men. That banner reads, "HUELGA", translated to english this word means, "STRIKE". In the background there is a peace symbol which looks really similar to the Natzi symbol. Through all this poverty and wars there is always room for love. Rivera showed this in his painting. A love affair in plain sight is happening almost in the center of his painting.

This whole painting made me understand just a little bit more of the struggles endured in this world. The world isn't perfect. Ther are strikes for jobs, there are some wars that brake out between the same races or even with a lot of different races. What I learned the most is that there is love everywhere and there are no limits on the amount given to someone.

The New Colossus By Emma Lazarus, 1883

The New Colossus

By Emma Lazarus, 1883

Not like the brazen giant of Greek fame,

With conquering limbs astride from land to land;

Here at our sea-washed, sunset gates shall stand

A mighty woman with a torch, whose flame

Is the imprisoned lightning, and her name

Mother of Exiles. From her beacon-hand

Glows world-wide welcome; her mild eyes command

The air-bridged harbor that twin cities frame.

"Keep, ancient lands, your storied pomp!" cries she

With silent lips. "Give me your tired, your poor,

Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,

The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.

Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me,

I lift my lamp beside the golden door!"

    When I read this poem I thought about how I don't even understand how hard it was for people when they first came to the "New World". This poem was actually very deep but it took a couple of tries to try and figure out what it meant. Then it took me a little bit longer to figure out what it meant to me. I realized that my way of life didn't just happen it took many years and generations to get to the world we live in today.

    It's going to keep changing too. The line in the poem that really stuck out to me was, "Is the imprisoned lightning, and her name Mother of Exiles." This line stuck with me because Emma reffered to The Statue of Liberty to be called "Mother of Exiles". To me that means she is the mother of immagrants.

the Industrial Revolution History Project!

10 Awesome Quotes

1. 
   
   "The invention of the teenager was a mistake. Once you identify a period of life in which people get to stay out late but don't have to pay taxes - naturally, no one wants to live any other way(Martin, Judith)."
2. 
   
   "What you need to know about the past is that no matter what has happened, it has all worked together to bring you to this very moment. And this is the moment you can choose to make everything new. Right now(Unknown, Author)."
3. 
   
   "I still find each day too short for all the thoughts I want to think, all the walks I want to take, all the books I want to read and all the friends I want to see(Burroughs, John)."
4. 
   
   "Put a grain of boldness into everything you do(Gracian, Baltasar)."
5. 
   
   "All men kill the thing they hate, too, unless, of course, it kills them first(Thurber, James)."
6. 
   
   "Man is the only creature that refuses to be what he is(Camus, Albert)."
7. 
   
   "Whenever I hear anyone arguing for slavery, I feel a strong impulse to see it tried on him personally(Lincoln, Abraham)."
8. 
   
   "It's all right letting yourself go, as long as you can get yourself back(Jagger, Mick)."
9. 
   
   "Feelings are much like waves, we can't stop them from coming but we can choose which one to surf(Mårtensson, Jonatan)."
10. 
    
    "If I had my life to live over, I would perhaps have more actual troubles but I'd have fewer imaginary ones(Herold, Don)."

Give Foreclosure Pets a Helping Paw

       While in english class my teacher, Mr. Leh, told me to go to this website called "The Literacy Site". He also told us to blog about what we found there and how that made us feel.

       When I got to this site it really inspired me to stand up for what I believe in and that I actually have a voice even though some people consider me to young.The first thing I went to was the tab at the top labled animal rescue, I went there because I love animals and want to be a vet when I get older. Then I went searching for a petition that I wanted to sign and support.There were so many petitions put out there to save animals in need that it took me a while to decide what I wanted to support first. Then I finally chose the petition for giving new homes to animals that were put out of their homes due to foreclosure. I really like what this one had to say about the subject. It explained how it is not the animals fault for being forclosed on and how we can help them to a better home or maybe just a new temporary home. It listed some reasons of what we can do personally to help the situation in our community too! If you love animals like I do, then click on the link I provided below and support the cause along with millions of other people!

http://www.theliteracysite.com/clickToGive/campaign.faces?siteId=3&campaign=ForeclosurePet

My Safe Harbor

I run, I run as fast as I can. It's amazing how I can see them but they can't see me. I know this place better then them of course. I live here and have grown up here so I can hide myself from them. Now I can feel their presence, their getting closer and closer. All I want to do is be safe. I want to go to my safe harbor. There I can think freely, I can be myself, and in a time like this I can be safe. Then I finally reach my spot. I made it myself, when I was younger, so I can have a place to go. Also if I needed a place to flee to. I climb down the long wooden ladder and see my little stuffed doll in the corner my abuelita had made for me when she was alive years ago. Now I can hear the voices of men, they do not speak my language and they sound very strange. I am beggining to grow more frightened. I don't know what they plan to do if they catch me...

I can't recall what happened. I guess those men happened to stumble across my safe place. They must have known I went down there because that's the first place they looked. All I remember is that they struck me on the back of my head, and then my world went black. Now I am sitting here in this strange new place with a lot of other girls. They look scared and lost too. Some of the girls speak to each other and I don't understand them either. They sounded just like the strange men. All of a sudden whatever we are traveling in stops. Those very same men who hit me opened the door, my eyes adjusted to the light, and now I see a new strange world spread out before me.

In The Past Haiku

How come I can't be seen by the one person I care about the most?

It's like every thing's done and gone, it is left behind in the sad past.

I am stuck there with no one to take the time and help me back to joy.

My Baby "Sis" Haiku

Love the way she watches my every move, she wants to be just like me.

My Sunset Haiku

When the sun goes down I can feel the cold dark black wrapping around me.